There are plenty of things that are on the  loose out there that can wreak havoc with one's life. Some we can prepare for, some we can insure for, some we can do no more than sit and wait to see if the gun pointing in your direction is loaded and actually aimed at you.

A good world is a world where you can be appreciated and at least given the time of day when you make mistakes. Mistakes are part of life and can lead to a learning experience. Mistakes are the progenitor cells of change. Mistakes are the tear drops from the marbled statues of the God of Freedom and The God of Happiness.

Not all change results from mistakes. Sometimes serendipity lends a hand or it's opposite face, zemblanity. The smile and the sneer. As they say, " Shit happens."

It has been my knowledge for two weeks now that I require a procedure on my heart. Fifty nine years old, fit, active, an ox of a man ha ha.

The stress test had  resulted in the comment by the person conducting the test,

 "Not many people can go as long as you have!"

 The ultrasound had all provided a very positive result.

"Your heart is very strong and performing well."

Given a family history of heart issues, the cardiologist felt is reasonable to have a CT angiogram.

"It is non invasive compared to an operative angiogram and look, it is up to you but I have never felt that having one was a waste of time."

The wonders of hindsight! It was a shock to be given a phone call two weeks later, outside what I had thought was the danger time when I would have received a call if there had been an issue, to be told I had numerous narrowings in the arteries around the heart and I needed an operative angiogram and quite likely a stent or stents.

Right I thought, wondering now if any movement might be my last. What does this all mean?  A brain fog descended. Thoughts drifted eerily through the clouds unable to form questions and without the questions there could be no answers.

It would be some time within the next four weeks that I would have my procedure. I needed to take some time just to think and that is what I have done. The biggest tension  is the emotional wrangle. This is suddenly "Your Life" and it is no longer a game show. At the same time you have to quickly rise above the melodrama and get on with it.

I have decided to involve you in my having a coronary angiogram. Yeah, it might read like a soap opera, but it will be true.  It will be a reflection of not only the procedure and operative and post operative care,  but of restoring or making the most of someone's emotional and sensual self.